Apparently the doctor told mom today that she didn't have to have 24 hour care, so she fired Doris, the home worker who has been so good to her and such a help to me for so long. She has called me again and again the past few days with these paranoid delusions, such as having her house 'bugged,' and Doris charging her more for her prescription drugs than they cost, and even Doris watering down her soup! I've been putting up with these calls for about ten days and I'm so entirely done with being upset by them. My health can't take it.
Her neighbor's wife is a nurse, and mom thinks that she will help her find someone to take her to appointments and get her groceries. I don't know if she has considered who is going to change her clothes when she pees herself, or take care of the dog shit, or make sure she gets a bath now and then, or help her get out of bed - especially for $10/hour.. She's been asking me for the past two days to come home, but I'm sure as heck not going to do any of that stuff for her.
She still wants to pay her own bills - she asked Doris to make out the checks because she can't see or write well anymore, then complained that she had "taken it over" - so I'm going to back out of that. I found a list of everything in the safe deposit box, and I can phone the lawyer without meeting with him. I never wanted to be responsible for finding care for her or making her decisions, so I'm just going to put that burden down. She has talked about wanting her privacy and independence for so long, we'll let her have her way and see how she copes.
I just don't have what it takes emotionally to go down there and "talk about personal things, just between mother and daughter." She lost that opportunity about 45 years ago. Right now I'm so frustrated and fed up with her that visiting her wouldn't be good for either of us.
There aren't any laws that say I have to take care of my mother, are there? I don't want to face charges of parental neglect.