I guess it's time to visit my family doctor. @ 10:42 am
Most of you know that I have a couple major issues in my life right now, one having to do with my goddaughters, and the other with my elderly mother. It seems like hardly a day goes by that something doesn't happen related to one of these two things. The following is an excerpt from an email I just wrote to a very, very dear friend. I'm putting it in here because re-writing it would just be too much effort.
In spite of weekly visits to my therapist, plus seeing my psych every three weeks, I am simply no longer able to cope. Any little thing that goes wrong seems like a major disaster. I frequently break down crying, or have outrageous temper tantrums.
I've developed such worrying symptoms that I am making an appointment with my Internist to make sure nothing is wrong with me physically. Yesterday I slept for 13 hours. I have frequent headaches and muscular aches, and almost daily bouts of nausea. A few days ago I started to develop itching all over my body, first in one area, then in another. I didn't give it much thought, as that is a common symptom of stress, plus temperatures here have plummeted and my skin is extremely dry. Then yesterday I caught sight of myself in the mirror as I was getting into the shower and nearly screamed. I am covered, hideously, with bruises. My legs, especially, look as though I have been very badly beaten from hip to ankle. I was terrified and ready to head for the E.R. until I saw on the internet that it is not uncommon for people to rub or scratch hard enough to bruise themselves. I've never had that before.
So yes, I will see the doctor as soon as possible. But every physical problem I am having is frequently caused by stress.
I don't mean to scare anyone, I'm not looking for pity, there's nothing anyone can do to help me, and I realize that most, if not all, of you just don't know what to say. But I thought I'd better get this stuff logged.