This is the Way I Live (on IJ)

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." - Dave Barry

November 17th, 2011

Oh dear, perhaps I shouldn't have had that second drink. @ 02:32 pm

Current Location: Times Square, New York City
Current Mood: bouncy

Oh dear. I appear to have drank too much at lunch. Which means I am feeling more than fine right now, but I need to sew a button back on my brand new coat, get dressed, put on makeup, and walk to the Golden Theatre soon. Where I will see Alan Rickman. Live. OMG.

I was nervous about finding my way there and even more nervous about finding my way back. Not now. Unfortunately that may be the effects of two raspberry margaritas (which were served, bizarrely, in a Sam Adams glass).

I'm not going to wait outside the stage door for an autograph, and there are people reading this who will be outraged. But I've no idea how to even find the stage door, and alone I'm just too much of a coward.

How to Succeed is showing just a couple blocks past the Golden Theatre, which is cool. On the weird coincidence side, to get to see Seminar I have to walk right by a theatre showing Private Lives, in which Alan was starring ten years ago. Ten years! Gods, I am so old!

July 22nd, 2011

I think I've reached my breaking point. @ 06:51 pm

Current Mood: indescribable

When I left Illinois, there was a player piano to go to Elizabeth's house, a huge, messy pile of stuff to be packed and to come to my house, and a ceder chess filled with fragile china to go to Elizabeth niece, JoLee.

The movers showed up in Illinois today. My niece Melissa was there to meet them. Somehow the deadbolt had been locked, so Melissa had to get a locksmith out to make a key for it. The movers had the order for JoLee correct. But they had just the furniture (dining room table with chairs, chaste lounge, and hutch) coming to my house. According to their paperwork, everything else was to be already packed and going with the piano to Elizabeth's house.

So Mellisa went out and bought boxes from U-Haul and they packed all the loose stuff - an there was a lot of it - which was supposed to come to my house. They took the furniture that comes to me and the piano that goes to Elizabeth as well. AND they took the ceder chest, with all the fragiles packed.

I don't know what would have happened if my niece Melissa hadn't been there. I really don't. It would have been a disaster.

But now my mother's house in Illinois is totally empty. Which is wonderful. I just don't know when the stuff is going to arrive. Faeon isn't planning on moving the old furniture out of my house until Tuesday, so if it comes before then we will have a real problem.

I have two paintings I shipped to my cousin in Minnesota, but they were returned to me. I got a voice mail from her daughter that they just happened to arrive when Phyllis was out of town. So now I am trying to call the daughter, Juliette, to make sure Phyllis is home before I pay another $75 for shipping. But I just keep getting a recording that she is not available. I miss my mother. Somewhere she would have Juliette's home phone rather than her cell phone. But I can't find it. There are so many addresses and phone numbers I can't find, and I think it is because they are in the pile that is being shipped here by the movers.

I get to take Alex and Justice to see HP&DH2 on Tuesday. Except that I forgot that is the day that Faeon is planning to do most of the moving out. So now there is really nothing I can do until I get an approximate delivery date from the mover. But my contact only works Monday through Friday.

In the mean time I keep falling further and further behind on the work I'm supposed to do for the Worldcon in Reno in a month.

I started drinking about six hours ago and haven't stopped. I've never been so drunk when I was alone.

I think I've just about hit rock bottom.

April 23rd, 2011

Meanderings of a drunk fanfic writer. @ 07:58 pm

Current Mood: drunk

The coolest thing ever, ever, ever happened to me at Norwescon today.

Okay, first I should explain that I am drunk. I am more drunk than I have been in many years. And I have enough alcohol at home that I can hope to maintain this state for some hours to come.

Now back to Norwescon - I met [info]pir8fancier! Okay, I exaggerate, I didn't actually meet her, but I saw her on a panel about going from fanfiction writing to - uh - real writing, like being published. She is so cool. She was only going under her pen name. In real life she writes mysteries and gets paid for it. And she was doing that BEFORE she discovered fanfic, of which she has written TONS (as probably a lot of you know). So it would really be professional suicide for her publishers to know she writes fanfic. Including slash porn and even including Snarry (which is only not my OTP because Snupin is).

Anyway, I really loved the panel. They talked about following the rules of the originating author (which for J.K. Rowling is no underage sex), and about not taking criticism personally and about the best comments are not the ones that say "SQUEEEE!!!" but the ones that offer constructive criticism that helps one become a better writer. And about deciding whether or not you actually agree with the criticism. And that old adage, if you want to write a book, the first thing you have to do is to Start Writing!

(Time out while I make another drink of Kahlua, Baileys, vodka, cream, and coke.)

Like I said, Start Writing. Now, the focal point of the panel was how to make the jump from writing fanfic to being a published author (and especially, what not to do). But I don't want to write original fiction. Never, ever had the urge, though I've been writing fanfic since I was in grade school. But I stopped, pretty much, putting fanfic up on line in 2003. Do I want to go back to writing? Hell yes I do! But I've always been too terrified.

The first piece of fanfiction I put on line was My Brother's Keeper, a Discworld gen fic. I did not plot the thing out ahead of time, at all. I just wrote what came into my head at the time. I didn't know what was going to happen much before the readers did. But somehow it all came together as a story, and I received a wild amount of praise about it. I still get comments today on

The next thing I wrote was Discworld slash, Vimes/Vetinari: Aftermath. It was also super easy to write, and, in the audience of people who like those things, also got a lot of high praise. I wrote a short sequel called In This Room which I am satisfied with, although it didn't get much circulation because by that time had passed their policy of no NC-17 fics and my relationship with them had ended bitterly.

I knew when I finished My Brother's Keeper that there could be a sequel, and I started it, but then I ran into two major problems: First, I was absolutely terrified it wouldn't meet the standard everyone had already set for me. Second, the story knew exactly where it was going, and I Did Not Like It. I didn't want Vimes to commit adultery. It honestly sent me into a period of depression. But when I tried to change the storyline, I was either not being true to the characters as I see them or I was introducing a deus ex machina. In the end I didn't finish it (which is the second most important thing to do if you want to write), and in fact that was more or less the end of my fanfic writing days, though I am a rabid reader.

Honestly, the thing most responsible for switching me from Discworld fanfic to Harry Potter was the plethora of HP slash and my unrequited lust for Alan Rickman's Snape. When it comes to the original works, I don't think J.K. Rowling can hold a candle to Terry Pratchett. But I fell hard for the work of several Snarry and Snupin writers.

Which leads me inevitably to "why I'm not writing HP fanfiction." Good question. I've sort of tried, if posting two chapters in my own not-particularly-highly-read LJ counts. It's not that I don't have an entire story in my head. I'm just scared. There are so many HP fanfic writers out there that are So Much Better than I will ever be. Also, it's not a short story. It's rather longish, as these things go, and I'm scared that if I start I won't finish it. The answer, in short, is I'm a coward.

This isn't an announcement that I'm going to start writing Snupin fics, although I just might. It's just I've got all this drunken happiness in me right now, and let's face it, I've been pretty short on happiness as of late. Like, I think the last really great thing that I experienced was meeting people when I went to see Alan Rickman on stage in New York.

Anyway, now that I have gotten all of that out of my system, I'm going to go read This Boy's Life.

This is the Way I Live (on IJ)

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." - Dave Barry