This is the Way I Live (on IJ)

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." - Dave Barry

October 9th, 2011

Borrrrrrring! @ 06:33 am

Current Mood: bored
Tags: , ,

Did really well on my diet yesterday: 1193 calories consumed, and 34 minutes (118 calories) on the Wii Fit Plus. Unfortunately, I've spent most of the week way off track. I'm considering not weighing myself tomorrow, just because I'm afraid of what the scale might say.

Yesterday flew by without my getting anything done except my usual chores. Well, I drove Alex to and from a friend's house (which took a total of over an hour) and boiled some eggs. Today's schedule includes getting Alex to and from driving class. After two years of being separated from the girls, I'm being allowed to be their chauffeur again.

The weather was actually pretty nice yesterday until evening, once the fog burned off in the morning. But today it is raining again.

Gods, I'm so boring I'm talking about the weather!

September 25th, 2011

It's Sunday, I'm up early, and it's raining. @ 06:49 am

Current Mood: busy

I've been seeing flocks of Canadian Geese flying south and a few red leaves on my Chinese Maple tree, but now fall is really here: it's raining here in the Pacific Northwest, and not expected to stop any time in the near future.

Nikky has an early appointment with the groomer to be washed with medicated shampoo. Poor puppy.

1297 calories eaten yesterday. 32 minutes (116 calories) on the Wii Fit Plus which, as usual, totally wore me out. I'm back on the program after three days of being lazy; I really think I was overdoing, because I was tired all the time and my right thigh was horribly sore for a couple days. I regret missing both the Fair and VCON, but both of those would have been disasters for my diet. Tomorrow morning I find out if I've lost any weight this week.

I tried to make a To-Do list yesterday - it's hideous! I would have to be super-productive every day to meet deadlines, and that's just not going to happen. Yesterday was the first day in a long time that I didn't just want to lie in bed and read all day. Concentrating on losing weight takes a tremendous amount of time: Preparing 5 meals a day and sitting down to eat them, rather than eating on the run; put on heart monitor, get dressed for work-out, stretch, warm-up, aerobic exercise, cool down and recover, shower and dress. Plus for the time being there is giving Nikky pills, spreading salve on him, and getting him shampooed every five days.

I have to decide when I'm going to New York. It's a choice between mid-November, mid-December, and January. I'll write about it in more detail later, but I really have to make a decision, because that November window is approaching fast.

And just a thought: Ascendio 2012 wouldn't seem nearly so outrageously expensive if I skipped the Discworld Convention next year.

September 18th, 2011

Sunday Morning BRL @ 06:58 am

Current Mood: blank

1272 calories consumed yesterday. Not bad, not good. Did 31 minutes on the Wii Fit Plus and burned, it said, 112 calories. I spent more time on strength training than usual, and my abdominals are complaining about that this morning. I may skip working out today. Five days a week sounds pretty good, and I have a Westercon meeting this evening.

It's pouring outside. Blah. Have I mentioned recently that I hate rain? Which is to say that I hate the weather here in the fall, winter and spring. The relatively mild temperatures are nice, though. And we actually had a period of warm, sunny weather, most of it while I was in Las Vegas. Did I mention that it rained in Las Vegas? Which it never, ever does according to the locals.

I've spent way too long recovering from the past 8 months, and am verging on the point of just being lazy. I haven't unpacked yet and I will soon be out of clothes if I don't begin on the pile of laundry. There are bills to pay as well as the usual chores. I haven't even started on unpacking the stuff I brought home from mom's and haven't finished putting the things I bought at Reno away. And my calendar desperately needs to be updated. My hair and nails both need attention. And I need to call Elizabeth and set up a date to see the girls this week. And I absolutely must make at least a quick stop at the grocery store today. Nutrisystem doesn't work well when one has no fresh fruit.

Chatted with Elfie for quite a while yesterday. We had a lot to catch up on. She is into Sengoku Basara fandom now. Me, I stick with Harry Potter and Discworld. Although I will watch almost anything with Johnny Depp or Robert Downey Jr.

Tom is pestering me constantly to decide when I want to go to New York to see Alan Rickman in Seminar on Broadway. The truth is that I really don't want to go until December, and after Christmas would be even better. But if the show really flops it might not be running that long. Oh, but I am sooo done with traveling for now. I have Vcon in a couple weeks, but that is only a four hour drive from here and I'm staying just two nights. I'll get to see some people I haven't seen for at least a decade.

I am still stuck on whether to go to Ascendio 2012. There's no way I can afford it - it would be super expensive, especially because I would be traveling diagonally across the U.S. On the other hand, it would be such a huge adventure and experience that I can't see how I can not go.

Dear gods, but my posts have been boring lately.

February 24th, 2011

Thursday morning report @ 07:16 am

Current Mood: sick
Tags: ,

We've had snow showers for the past two days and I love how the snow clings to the trees. Amazingly, the schools aren't closed, so the roads must be plowed. I'm out of decongestant, I have no Nutrisystem bars or desserts, and no one bought me string cheese, which is one of my staples. Before Illinois I might have let this sort of snow keep me from going out, but now that seems silly. The only problem is that I hate to go out when I still have such severe congestion and am beginning to cough. I was feeling better when I first got up today, but now my ears are stopped up again and the headache has come back. As far as my nose is concerned, I might as well be Voldemort. There hasn't been any air passing through my nasal passages for three days.

January 3rd, 2011

Real Life on the first Monday of 2011 @ 06:40 am

Current Mood: groggy

The scale says I'm up to 168 pounds this morning, so that's my new starting point. My goal is to lose 2 pounds a month; if I can't do that, I'm not trying. I have a new Wii Game, 'Walk It Out,' which is great. It's decent exercise and the time flies by.

Faeon took all the Christmas decorations down yesterday except for the real wreath outside. It is still so pretty we decided to leave it up for a while. I'm not sure I've ever managed to get the decorations down this early in the year.

Then he, Lee and I went to Best Buy to get me a new printer. It's very shiny and was on sale, so I'm pleased. After that we went shopping for groceries. I really do have a great son to help me out with all this stuff.

Lots of chores building up around the house. I might get out to Fred Meyer today to pick up stuff I couldn't get at Winco. We're supposed to have another day of sunshine with the high temperature near 40°. We still have a lot of ice left over from our snow and hail storms; the roads are mostly clear but parking lots can be dicey.

December 31st, 2010

We can has sunshine!! @ 05:52 am

Current Mood: exanimate

We also have this weird white stuff on the ground, which is the consistency of a snow cone during the day and turns into solid ice during the night. Roads are not great and Chad got called into work, so we canceled our New Year's Eve party and I'm spending the night alone. Which, after the past two weeks, does not sound particularly bad. If the roads are clear enough I might go out and see 'Tron' or 'The Tourist'.

Took Chenelle to get an upgraded phone yesterday. She now has a Droid 2. She's with Verizon, while all the rest of us are on AT&T. The whole process took something like two hours and was outrageously expensive. I really don't know why I do stuff like this for her, especially since she treats her phones so roughly, but these days I'm the only mom she has. She and Elizabeth have almost totally broken ties because Chenelle thinks her brother should still be invited into the house in spite of what he did to her own daughter.

November 22nd, 2010

It never snows in Seattle... er... @ 07:31 pm

Current Mood: giddy

We have snow. It's hard to tell how much, because we also have 20 MPH winds and 25° temperatures, so it is drifting like mad. But it's, for this area, a heck of a lot of snow. Announcement has already gone out that the schools are closed tomorrow.

I am totally beside myself. I can't stay away from the windows. I've thrown mini-snowballs at the pets - the dog ate the snow and then immediately demanded to go out and play in it. Which is, like, not unexpected, since he's a Husky. He's acting happily insane. The cats are not amused.

The only bad thing is that I didn't get to take Alex to see Deathly Hallows tonight. But with clear skies predicted tomorrow and no school, we should be able to see it sometime.

October 18th, 2010

Booorrrring @ 05:19 am

Current Mood: groggy

Edited from Nutrisystem Forum:

The scale is down 1.2 pounds this morning, which is a pleasant surprise when I only had one work-out session all of last week. I wish I could say this week is going to be better, but it is going to be very full with three dinners out, so I'm not feeling good about that.

The dog got me up at 4:20 A.M. this morning, but since I'd had almost 8 hours sleep on top of a two hour nap yesterday, I've decided to stay up.
Also, I have to meet Justice before school at 7:00. I took her phone away for a month because she wasn't following the rules; now she gets to have it only at school, and needs to leave it with a friend when she's at home.

Faeon and I made a trip to Winco yesterday. Now all I have to do is get motivated to make the salads. Jinx and I are scheduled to play Animal Crossing this afternoon, but I have nothing that should derail me from my diet today and all evening to get in my exercise.

I didn't mention that Sunday night we had a hard freeze, the first of the season. But the temperature got up to the 60s, and I don't think it's quite so cold this morning. Forecast of partly cloudy with similar temperatures today, and no rain until Thursday! I sure hope the weatherman is right for a change.

October 16th, 2010

This and That @ 08:53 am

Current Mood: awake

Just realized that the first freeze of the season happened last night. Frost on the grass and a skim of ice on the puddles.

Thursday October 21 I am going to a rally for Patty Murray - at which President Obama is speaking! I am ultra excited. This is the first opportunity I've ever had to see Obama in person.

October 10th, 2010

Life is pleasantly boring @ 05:56 am

Current Mood: blah

Edited from NutriSystem forum post:

I looked all over the house yesterday for my slippers and couldn't find them anywhere. Slept a good seven hours except for waking to use the facilities, but dreamed I found my slippers in the closet. Looked this morning and there they were!

It has been raining non-stop, as far as I can tell, for about 24 hours. It's a light rain, but a couple more days of this and we'll start having local flooding. Weatherman thinks it might stop on Monday, but he is not to be trusted: he is forecasting a high of 60° today, and that is the temperature now, at 6:00 A.M. I had to go out to pick up a couple things and get gasoline, but otherwise hibernated yesterday. I hate fall in the Pacific Northwest. And winter. And spring.

Faeon and his roommate are coming over to do a big Winco run. Aside from that, I have to spend the day analyzing my part of the Reno Worldcon budget.

October 9th, 2010

Boring, as usual @ 06:57 am

Current Mood: groggy

I did manage to get my hair washed yesterday, but no exercise session. I have to pick up milk today, but otherwise the groceries can wait until Sean and Lee come over tomorrow.

The party was okay, considering I only knew two people there out of the 24. The food was wonderful and since I was with the birthday party group I got all the special treatment of a Mary Kay hostess. Paid for it in products I ordered, though. I don't know why I buy skin care products. I know I'm too lazy to use them.

I have the day to myself, which sounds wonderful, but I'm sure by this afternoon I'll be feeling lonely.

Raining. High temperatures in the 60s. Repeat ad infinitum.

October 5th, 2010

Slightly more interesting than my NutriSystem post @ 06:22 am

Current Mood: Still waking up
Tags: ,

Took Alex and Justice out to get their Halloween costumes yesterday. We went to Hot Topic, so the costumes were expensive and are not modest at all, but they are really terrific. Alex is going to be what she refers to as "slutty Alice" (she is crazy about Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland) and Justice is going to be a pirate (with fishnet stockings).

I asked Alex outright last night when Justice wasn't in earshot how many times she has smoked pot, and she admitted right away to three. It's disturbing to me, but on the other hand it feels good to know that she is honest with me. I still have Justice's phone because of the broken promises and lies she told about using it at home.

Alex said that she and Elizabeth are trying to prepare for Steve's death, which is kind of morbid but a good idea. She says that Elizabeth pledged to start driving again, and that she is determined to keep the house, but paying bills is going to be tough. (As though it wasn't already.) Alex says she is less anxious to move out of the house now because she feels like Elizabeth will need her. She is so submissive that she had to ask Steve before I was allowed to buy the girls the Halloween costumes.

This evening Faeon, Chad, Patrick and I are going to see Resident Evil in 3D. My first 3D movie with the newest technology is going to be about zombies, and then I get to come home alone in the dark.

I saw my first flock of Canadian geese this season flying south, so summer is truly over. Rained a bit yesterday, but weatherman says that it won't rain again until Friday. However, he has been wrong a lot lately.

Went completely off my diet yesterday and had a taco salad with sour cream. Need to get right back 'on the wagon' today. Also didn't get any exercise aside from walking the mall, so I need to schedule a work-out before the movie.

October 2nd, 2010

Saturday morning's boring report. @ 06:54 am

Current Mood: awake

Faeon and Lee had a Magic tournament yesterday and didn't get here to go on a grocery run until 9:00 in the evening, so I was up later than usual. Also got up early this morning, so there's probably a nap in today's future.

While shopping I had a new idea for getting some exercise: Walking the aisles at Winco! There aren't many people there in the evening and the aisles are very wide. I mean, lots of people go walking in the mall for exercise, so why not? Winco is just down the street; in fact, within walking distance even for me. Whereas going to the mall involves a 20 minute drive and I'm not likely to be that motivated.

Yesterday I was lazy and spent a large part of the day reading I Shall Wear Midnight, but today I need to concentrate hard on my job running the con office at the Worldcon next year. I have dozens of questions, many of which will be answered if I can learn, with Lee's help,, how a Wiki works. Tomorrow at noon we have a Skype meeting, and in a couple weeks the Division Heads are meeting. There will be a Staff Meeting in Reno in March, but by then I'd better have a damn good hold on what I'm expected to do.

Weather: Heavy overcast with the high in the mid-60s yesterday, and the same predicted today. Tomorrow we get back to the raining.

October 1st, 2010

Hurray it's Friday? Just another boring day. @ 07:02 am

Current Mood: bored

So I took Justice's phone from her yesterday after school. I'm so proud of her. She didn't pout at all, but acted like it was a normal occurrence, with lots of the usual hugs and kisses and small talk. It was such a relief. I just really wish it didn't have to be this way. I feel better when she has the phone, and I'll miss having her check in. Yet it's nice not to worry that she is going to get caught with it.

Tonight I'm going to a combination Mary Kaye party and birthday party for Dani's aunt. Sit-down pasta dinner, so so much for the diet. I'm hardly going to know anyone there, and I don't think the kids are coming, so I'm really nervous, but Dani's mom Leslie is a great person and I'm trying to cultivate more of a friendship with her. So I accepted the invitation and will almost certainly end up ordering some Mary Kaye products. Late tonight I'm going to make a grocery trip with Feaon and his roommate. Plus I have a hair appointment this morning and a bunch of household shit to be done. So it's going to be an expensive and busy day.

The weatherman lost touch with reality yesterday and thought we would have clear skies with temperatures near 80°, but in actuality the weather is better than usual. Partly cloudy and highs in the low 70s. So I'm certainly not complaining.

These posts are so boring I don't know why I bother, except I'm afraid of losing all touch with LJ and IJ.

September 30th, 2010

Thursday morning @ 06:42 am

Current Mood: blah

Well, for better or worse, Steve came through the surgery fine. Still don't know what they did, but he was back home last night. Justice says both Elizabeth and Steve were being especially mean and yelling at her. Alex, on the other hand, can talk of nothing except that she is going to Homecoming with Shawn, the 18-year-old pothead.

Today I'm taking Justice's phone away from her after school. I hate doing it almost as much as she hates giving it up, but I don't think she is going to raise a fuss. She says she "gets it."

Weather is weird. Yesterday it was cool with drizzle; today it is suppose to hit a high of almost 80°, the warmest it has been in at least a month.

I'm still 100% on the NutriSystem program and exercising every day. That's Day #3, the first landmark. Now I'm going for the full week.

Wish I was sleeping better. I'm having trouble getting to sleep and then wake up during the night because of dreams. I actually wake myself up talking or doing things like reaching for something that of course isn't there. I know the Risperdal would surpress all of this, but I won't go back to it, as it makes it impossible for me to lose weight. I'll stick to afternoon naps instead.

September 29th, 2010

Let whatever happens be the best for my girls @ 06:44 am

Current Mood: confused

Justice texted me last night. Steve is going in for surgery today, although she doesn't know what they are doing, and apparently Elizabeth told her he could die if "something goes wrong." She and Alex were also told, for the first time, that Steve won't live over four years without a liver transplant, and Elizabeth saiid "he won't get one." Rather than being kind about this, Elizabeth was "being a real bitch" and calling them names like "dirty pigs."

Justice was freaking out on the phone, but there is a bit of a complication to that. I was supposed to meet her after school and take her cell phone away from her because she has repeatedly broken promises, lied, and ignored me in order to use it at home. A suspicious part of me wonders if part of her upset was an act. Anyway, I told her she could keep it until Steve and Elizabeth get back home.

This is so horrible that it is difficult for me to write it, but a large part of me hopes he dies. I want whatever is best for my girls, and in the long run he needs to get out of their lives one way or another. I expect to be jumped on for such an evil feeling, but for so long I've thought how much better the world would be without him.

Going strong on NutriSystem so far: 1186 calories yesterday, and walked 1½ miles on the treadmill.

We had warm weather with cold drizzle yesterday, but now the weatherman says we're going to get a couple more days of summer, with sunshine and temperatures in the 70s. I'm delighted. This morning we just have thick fog.

August 20th, 2010

Friday's Post and new responsibilities @ 06:17 am

Current Mood: awake

From Nutrisystem Forum:

My son will be here any minute to work on some problems on my new netbook, so I'll make this short.

Didn't sleep as well as I would like - woke myself up twice talking in my sleep!!

Business meeting took much longer than I'd thought yesterday, so today I need to spend shopping for missing clothes items. And you know how much I love shopping!

We didn't get any rain as far as I know yesterday, and the afternoon was bright and sunny with a high around 70. Weatherman is predicting exactly the same for today, but we may get rain over the weekend. Temperature at 6:00 A.M. is 53°

Jack wants me to virtually serve as next of kin if he gets incapacitated or dies while Alex is still a minor. Power of Attorney, take care of all his assets, everything. It's not a responsibility I want, but I certainly see how I'm the best choice, since he has no close relatives and his concern is all about Alex. It wasn't until we started talking that I realized what else I'll have on my hands no matter when he dies - trying to support Alex through an almost unbearable loss.

August 19th, 2010

Morning Post @ 06:47 am

Current Mood: sleepy

From NutriSystem Board:
I stayed up far too late last night packing and doing laundry, then couldn't go to sleep because of heartburn. Was half-asleep at 5:30, bothered by pain that started in my bad ankle and went clear up my leg, when I heard some strange noises - a muffled ringing followed by tapping. Got up to see what it was (never did figure it out), and the pets thought that meant time to get up. So I'm due a nap this afternoon, after a noon business meeting.

The weather cleared up yesterday and stayed in the low 70s. Skies this morning look dreary and gray; looks like we may get some rain with the high around 70°. On the other hand, temperature at 6:30 A.M. is 60°.

The meeting at noon is with 'Papa Jack.' He wants to make me Executor of his estate. Everything he has goes to Alex, and he has realized that no one else is more interested in making sure she gets the full benefits without S&E being involved. Jack is Elizabeth's old boyfriend. He bonded with Alex much the same way that I did with both girls, and is treated by S&E even worse than I am. He's only in his late 60s, but not in the best of health. I try not to think about how I'll handle it if Alex ends up with so much more in resources than Justice, but there's no use worrying that far ahead. I'll make it up to Justice somehow, just as I've been doing all these years.

August 18th, 2010

A typical NutriSystem Forum Post @ 07:52 am

Current Mood: groggy

I decided since I'd asked for your opinions about whether I should copy my NutriSystem posts here on LJ and IJ, I would give you an example. This is the post for this morning:

The dog was insane last night. When I let him out at bedtime, he wouldn't come back in. At 10:00 I tried everything I could think of, including going out after him, but no success. At which point I threw my hands in the air and went to bed. So at 2:00 in the morning I he woke me up barking. I would have just left him out there, but I didn't want him to bother the neighbors, so I had to get up and let him in.

So even though I slept in, I have that dragging feeling that I didn't get enough sleep. Not to mention being grumpy at the dog.

I got a lot done toward packing yesterday, but it only served to emphasize how much there is left to do. I can't believe I'm leaving in just a week. I have an appointment this morning, then back to errands. In the meantime the normal chores around the house are piling up. I'm not exercising officially right now, but I am being, for me, very active.

The clouds are finally back. It is gray and dismal this morning, but not raining. Highs expected to reach only the low 70s. Temperature at 8:00 A.M. is 61°.

November 9th, 2009

The Season 'Tis Upon Us @ 07:54 pm

Current Mood: restless

I sent an email asking that Justice and Alex be allowed to have their traditional Christmas celebration with us. That being that the girls, Faeon, Chad, Patrick and I gather around the tree; there are oversized Christmas stockings with candy and silly little gifts, and everything ends up on the floor with much trading and bargaining. The main present from me to everyone is money or gift cards, but there is at least one wrapped present as well (usually two or three), and there are gifts that have been sent here from Tom and my mom. So we all sit on the floor and take turns opening gifts and cards with piles of paper and ribbons everywhere. That's what we do. That's what we have done every single Christmas since the girls were born. It takes, maybe three hours, including assembling stuff and showing it off and picking up the mess.

But now the girls aren't even allowed to come into this house, despite the fact that they practically grew up here. And I'm not allowed to give them any gifts except for gift cards.

I've known this for six weeks now. We've all gotten past the shock and are trying to accept it. But I had to at least ask if an exception could be made for Christmas. I had to at least try. I sent the email this morning. Elizabeth is slow about email so I don't expect she will have even read it yet.

I've been thinking that, if there can't be time with the girls on Christmas (or sometimes Christmas Eve, or Boxing Day), then I want to get away from here. Go on a vacation where my mind will be able to get off the subject. I've even got a place picked out in Colorado, where it may very well snow but will certainly not rain. I feel like it has been raining for weeks here, and as far into the future as the weatherman will predict, every day features showers and rain.

This is the Way I Live (on IJ)

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." - Dave Barry